Tuesday, December 28, 2010

part 2



When Mayor Mike called me the other day - not for a date - but to talk city business - specifically to ask my advise on declaring a snow emergency in NYC I was a bit taken aback.
It went something like this:

[RING RING!]

Hello?
Sarah it's Mayor Michael Bloomberg calling -
Hi Mike, I know who it is, duh! We've been dating for - like ever. Secretly I mean. Secret dating. You OK? You sound like shit - does this mean we're not goi---
Right. Well I have an emergency and need your advice on how to get the streets of new york plowed and safe after snOprah.
Well Mike, why don't you start with your own block, East 79th street. Since there are so many people on the upper east side who have to go to work and may get fired if they don't show up...No need to declare an emergency! I'm sure that only people who would try to drive in this weather are those with diabetic children in desperate need of insulin or those of us who have run out of gin - by next Sunday the farthest reaches like Red Hook will finally be cleared - but don't worry about us out here, we all have fireplaces, conversation pits, furry kittens and plenty of frozen poultry. It's actually a party! A really fun party that we don't want anyone else to know about and so it's better if you don't plow us out. Wait! - Whoa someone just set up the ice luge in the hallway - gotta run!
[Click]

6 comments:

Daniel-Halifax said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniel-Halifax said...

That's crazy!! All this time I thought I was the worst one off, but you've got me beat!

ps..your comment on my blog was...Highlarious! You make me laugh oh so much...

count buckula said...

s-kmo

D said...

wtf? I'd airlift you and Eric (that's all I have room for) outta B-town if I could. I'd come back for the rest of the S-crew later...

Sarah said...

aw D you're sweet like that. have since been plowed by mayor mike. (yikes bad pun)
actually eric was out shoveling for three hours while i was warm inside planning a puerto rico vacay for sissy and me. tough life being snowed in.

Emily said...

First to say, I'm loving your blog. Secondly, your snow posts are cracking me up. You might find it hilarious that I told my boss I flew to the west coast (not New York) for Christmas in hopes of an extra vacation day. It turned into 4 extra days and a whole lotta mess trying to find my way back to the South through the madness with a smidgen of dignity. An extra week off? It's a Christmas miracle, and now I find myself at work with no one else here... wishes do come true.