Monday, June 6, 2011

flinging deep personal monday morning thoughts at you

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I've spent most of my life feeling like i needed something else, you know? If I just had...

But the nice thing about getting older is that you feel that less. I can say right now I feel I need nothing more and this is a fucking huge bit of progress for me.
I mean.. I would like to have a house with a garden. And you know I want a copper colored camaro. I would like more close friends, and I've probably always wanted to be thinner. I would like to have a boat. A cleaner kitchen, another dog like Nea, time for yoga and cooking. I would like to not have a headache right now. I would like to cry more instead of being such a robot. I would like to be able to ask for things I want - just be able to ask - and tell people how I really feel when I see them and feel those things. And I would really like to travel more, especially to Petra this morning.

I have to look at my horoscope because in the last few months I've been feeling overwhelmed with a strange sense of compassion. Grand emotions I can't verbalize, even to Eric. It has to be a Neptune aspect or something else in the stars. It means nothing really, but everything too.

We are all our own little universes, aren't we?

26 comments:

Liane said...

i'm loving you right now sarah. can i say that?

Sarah said...

i love you too, liane.

TERI REES WANG said...

I've been hit.
Gracias!

Raq said...

Lovely to read. Lovely to simply take in. Yes, we all reside in our own universes, and when they collide and overlap they create wonderful concentric circles of experiences that help each universe to continue to grow.

Feeling a bit romantic this morning, which was further facilitated by your post. I teach yoga. Would like to come over to you to give you a session. If that is OK, it would be nice to just sit in your space and watch you work with flowers. Perhaps even touch a few myself.

If that at all interests you, please drop a line: aumraqui at gmail . com

Enjoy the day. Enjoy the feelings.

JAIME RUGH said...

that's the best part of it all,
our own universes that is . . .
sometimes we surprise ourselves and change or become things we had not ever wildly dreamed.
you are lovely.

Desi McKinnon said...

That's beautiful, Sarah. I've had some really nice seconds of the Now lately. It's nice.

Desi McKinnon said...

P.S. I used to live in Santa Cruz, CA and read Risa's column every week. I catch it now and again. I like her take on Astrology. I thought you might too http://goodtimessantacruz.com/risa-astrology.html.

Miz.November said...

Love this post. I've been feeling very much in my own little universe lately, too. I think I am growing increasingly numb towards certain things and increasingly sensitive towards others. This whole living bit just never ceases to amaze me.

Joanna said...

I have always visited Saipua and seen your beautiful products and incredible flowers and beyond normal photography and think to myself how perfect it all must be to be Sarah.

But, I, like you, have moments of sadness, disconnect, loneliness and emotional turbulence. I rarely uncover those feelings publicly, but it feels good sometimes and the response is often surprising.

I see you as human now instead of super human, which was stupid to begin with. You are talented, but human, and only a block from where I used to live....so I always think that I should have known you...a connection of some weird sorts...

Margaret said...

love this post. perfect.

liz said...

Desi! Thank you for the link .. I just read through this week's contemplation and saw this:

"As we stand now, our future’s in question, “material progress” is being upended. The time for spiritual materialism has arrived."

Bingo.

cose a modo said...

Thank you sarah, I feel so close to what you say. Your flowers, your pictures are a beautiful daily little gift! I love details and all little pleasures that make my life richer, even if not all my dreams come true...

Chloe Marguerite said...

Wise and beautiful musings..

Chloe M.

curlygirlpress said...

I obviously don't know you, but it's hard to see you as a robot when I look at your flowers, and how you speak about your flowers. There's a ton of emotion there. Wow. And how lovely to be seized with compassion. = )

fern said...

you're beautiful Sarah like your flowers. with gratitude,

Elizabeth said...

I'm right there too.

Love love love.

Skraeling said...

good on you

Brenda said...

Your flower arrangements make my jaw drop. Lovely Post. Sending to my BFF now.

Anonymous said...

ummm... what flowers are these?? ur arrangements are always INSANELY gorgeous!!!

Sarah said...

mmkay i give you a list of whats in this arrangement:

-tree peonies (ezra pound variety and one other i can't recall)

-lilac (ms. kim variety)

-blushing bride protea
-ranunculus
-scabiosas and scabiosa pods
-passion vine

also a better picture here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahryhanen/5764651030/in/photostream

{the hort couture gardener} said...

(insert big breath out here)!! How refreshing to know someone else has these feelings! Thank you for sharing such honest emotions - I hope you can achieve all these things and more x

Anonymous said...

reading this post after visiting a very wealthy friends apartment last night has made me check myself when i start to have feelings of both envy and inadequacy.....especially when its all related to material value....and the bottom line is that 'stuff' doesnt really matter and the constant wanting more wont actually make you happy. i mean how many of us really need 4 bathrooms?

fifi said...

amen sister. somethin' must be in the world wide water cause i'm feeling the exact same thing!

Anonymous said...

you're such a poignant writer!what's yor sign!

Sarah said...

leo

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