Tuesday, September 4, 2012

tomatoes and hydrangea

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hydrangea

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I stepped on a mouse nest this morning while raking hay. I watched the mice babies, blind and disoriented scatter in the grass, they all went in different directions and then synchronously stopped and curled in on themselves. I stood there for too long watching them and feeling bad. I'm really tired, and when you are tired, you get inappropriately emotional about things like baby mice.

I called Nea over and she ate them all.

My parents were up the last few days helping me plant hydrangea at the farm. I always get nostalgic about the early autumn flowers. When I first started working with flowers six summers ago the hydrangea were the first things I really fell in love with.

Yesterday we stopped for lunch and had - what else but tomato sandwiches. As soon as we finished our sandwiches we had coffee. Then we went back out to keep planting.

Today after they left I went out and did the raking, the mice. I came in for a tomato sandwich, eating it alone, feeling drained and lonely. I made coffee right after like my parents would do if they were still around at the farm.

29 comments:

girlunwinding said...

You had a very real day full of mindfulness though you might have felt otherwise. It is good to be in the presence of yourself even when it feels lonely and tired. I love tomato sandwiches. I haven't had a really good one though this year. Our tomatoes were quite small and the harvest of them I am afraid is done for the year. Maybe next time they will do better.
Peace~
Dawn

shellie said...

i laughed and then let out a sad sigh. i could feel your tiredness. you farm is turning out amazingly. thanks as always at your honest look at things....

shellie said...

amazingly magically. i cant type.

Anne-Marie said...

What gorgeous pictures, you always have an eye for beautiful things.

charlotte au chocolat said...

Your work is absolutely stunning, as usual. Hope you are able to rest a little!

Sara Lacey said...

I really really want to see a photo shoot of someone in that bathtub surrounded by flowers. Maybe more like Henri Rousseau's The Dream than, well, something else.

Bow Street Flowers said...

Trying to wrap my brain around Nea eating the mice. Fatigue can render us helpless in the face of the smallest crises. So many mice in the world. Fewer now to move into your kitchen this winter. I love the photo of your parents.

fleur_delicious said...

I know what you mean - yesterday was a sad haze of lonely after a friend came up for the weekend and left Monday morning.

however tired you may be, your photos strike me dumb - every time - with a beauty that seems to me to be evolving, or maybe that's just autumn? Either way, breathless here, with the brightness against the dark bathroom wall. beautiful. Love that you've got a toilet keeping your flowers fresh - I laughed.

Julie said...

You live a beautiful life. Thanks for sharing it, even when you're so tired.

the desert echo said...

I've had the same heavy feeling all week, a tragedy has left us all raw and I have been feeling sensitive to little deaths and suffering all the more keenly, even squishing snails has put me off lately, if only our chickens would eat them! Fussy things!

Thank you for your beautiful photos, it puts a smile on my face. I love the asymmetrical flower arrangement, like the transitioning seasons, light and warmth on one side and the other slowly swallowed by autumn's cool.

Amy S. said...

Dogs are good in those situations. Ours always adds levity to turning over the compost heap when the mice go scattering. Keep up the planting - next year the farm will be so amazing!

Thanks for the gorgeous light in these photos (and the gorgeous hydrangeas).

Steph (desserts for breakfast) said...

Love the flowers in the turquoise toilet.... :)

Beautiful photos, as always!

edi gardner said...

The picture of your parent is so sweet. Lonely is ok - you will like that eventually. A silent poet might be lonely but never alone!

Becca Blue said...

Did you paint your bathroom that color so your flowers would look extra extra magical in front of?
Hydrangeas always make me feel sad and happy and hopeful and...I love them too.
What varieties? (Aside from the previously mentioned Limelights?)
Coffee always helps fill the void.

Elizabeth Aley said...

Country life seems a bit lonely, but you make it look & sound romantic all the same.

When my Husbear is out I will sometimes turn on ESPN - just to have his mistress in the house. Not as poetic as coffee perhaps, but it is strangely comforting...those little you miss when they are away.

D said...

Don't make me fly up there...

elisegriswoldart.com said...

MAN it is so beautiful up there! I am so envious of some of the things you can grow up there that just can't stand it down here in Charleston.
Loneliness is something I have only recently learned to sit with-like an old friend, but sometimes it still gets me when I'm too tired, and then it just makes me sad. At least you have your yummy tomatoes and beautiful flowers!!

Collin Paul said...

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fridayfika said...

i love this glimpse into a day on your farm.

Elizabeth said...

Hydrangeas, tomatoes, a begonia on the windowsill... my 3 favorite things. And so novel to use a toilet tank as a vase. On loneliness, from http://www.imrevolting.net/:

Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important, said Carl Jung.

The interesting thing is why we're so desperate for this anesthetic against loneliness, said David Foster Wallace.

We're all in this alone, said Lily Tomlin.

Léah said...

do you eat scones in the bath too!? :)

Splendid Stems said...

Quit being a stranger neighbor :)

Jane Ng said...

that's a nice one work. very good florist behind like a Florist in brooklyn. great job.

bigBANG studio said...

Oh Sarah this is one of my favorite posts, both image- and text-wise: the overripe early-fall smell of the loamy farm, the tiny tragedies that play out in the fields with nea and the mice, the seafoam green toilet as sarcophagus for those funerary gladiolas- what an amazing post.

xo (lily on instagram)

Marriage Ideas said...

WOW!! Really nice i like it. awesome images and nice clicked every photos are superb!!!!

wallpapers said...

The colours are lovely!! Flowers are so pretty!

Kaylees Bridal said...


This blog is very well written and I appreciate your efforts.. Keep up the good work.

Rebecca Jane said...

WoW!! All are looking nice to see in your blog i really impressed.I Like that tomatoes..

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