Sunday, April 20, 2014

The end of winter.

sunrise house

When I was little I would sometimes be plagued by an overwhelming feeling of physical irritability...just like I needed to turn my entire self inside out. I discovered a cure for this feeling: Orange juice. It worked! Thankfully we always had orange juice in the house. When I was younger, it was concentrate from a can mixed up in a brown plastic pitcher. Then one year my mother started buying real orange juice. Those were the good years. I often want to go back in time and spend some time with my younger self, but you just can't do that. Except if you approach the edge of a black hole, the event horizon they call it, you start to slow time down, and it is thought, you may start to go back in time. 


I've been reading things I shouldn't be reading like this book called The Sixth Extinction and biographies on Tchaikovsky. When I say 'biographies' I mean the wikipedia page. Regardless. It's the wrong sort of reading for me right now. I've not been feeling so hot. Mentally, and also physically. And also not 'hot' like in the way women who look good feel.  I am officially the tired looking woman at Hannaford (our grocery store) who writes comment cards repeatedly advocating for the stocking of 'chubby hubby' ice cream. The teenage boy takes my card (again) and calls me ma'am
This too will pass. Days in, and days out.


Blondie here is our new maremma and she makes me happy when I sit with her, trying to get her to eat. She's four, and a bit shell shocked from switching farms. Over the last three weeks she's warmed up a lot and now will eat if I spend some time holding her paw and petting her first. She's the opposite of Puccini; thin, elegant, graceful, serious. I love her. Eric still prefers Poochi. 



And Nea. My best girl, getting a bit round in her older age. A skunky little sausage. You know I was always a cat person; grew up with a gaggle of cats but now I love dogs. 


Spring is finally starting to show at the farm, and in the worst timing, I've left for a few weeks of work in Europe. Writing this now from Amsterdam, a sunny Easter afternoon. Most of you are still asleep. My sheep likely laying down in a far corner of the field precariously close to the electric fence. When Eric wakes up and looks out the window he'll likely have a hard time seeing whether they are really there. He might worry for a minute pausing with the binoculars in hand, standing in the little bathroom upstairs, our lookout for pasture mischief. A tiny room, unfinished and full of dead flies. Impossible to find a paint color to match the old turquoise toilet and sink I insisted on putting in. 

He'll shrug it off, and go make coffee. 


I am ready to just let this winter go. 


I've been taking that physics class online that one of you suggested. And one of you sent me a beautiful japanese neck scarf (and one for Eric) and I thank you for that. Someone wrote me a card applying for an apprenticeship. You people are loving, and always with me. 


54 comments:

Jenny said...

One of my new favorite blogs. You're terrific. So glad to have found you.

suzie said...

I agree, I've only just discovered you too! Beautiful pictures and words

Sarah said...

Happy Easter from far away! I understand perfectly about letting this winter be on it's way. If we could only keep spring on repeat...things work out, they usually do.

your photos are stunning, especially the first one. And your writing...I totally get it.

xo Sarah

LPC said...

We know brilliance when we see it and we just want to warm our hands in yours.

It might be time to say yes to one of those destination weddings in Barbados. Barbados freed itself early, and celebrates that often.

kclr said...

You write well, regardless. The photos have a voice too. And the flowers, they sing. It is warm in parts of Europe. Hope you are going towards the sun.

Mlle Paradis said...

oh those sheep!

have a great time in a'dam! come back refreshed!

Anonymous said...

That beautiful farmhouse and wonderful dogs will welcome you back from hopefully warmer Europe.

Anonymous said...

you seriously need to take care that you don't burnout - you should pull a phoebe philo and take some time off just before you reach the pinnacle of your game. she took 3yrs to herself and came back even stronger. if you burnout, it takes a long time to recover. also vitamin D, magnesium, and healthy fats...

from a caring fan

Melissa Logan said...

You are such a good writer. I started following you blog through google reader years ago. Ranunculus are my favorite flowers, and you do such wonderful things with them. Since the death of google reader,I lost track of what you're up to. I found your blog a few months ago, and the tone has changed so much. It's so pensive. But you know, I love it just as much as I loved the cheery ranuncs.

Have you ever thought about writing an ethnography of NY florists? I would certainly read a book on that topic, and I would probably read any book you published.

Anyway, cheers to spring <3

Ashley Fox said...

your day to day is my comfort. because that is what life is. day to day stuff you either harumph at or enjoy. getting really, really, really tired of people thinking we should live in a pinterest world. your pics slow me down.

lavendermoongirlblog said...

Beautiful natural photos and a joy to read. Your flower arrangements are exquisite. :-)

Cruz said...

Stunning photographs!!! Hope the trip allows you to put winter behind and return home to SPRING!

sandie gobk said...

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Riverwatch said...

Stumbled across your blog and I must say I LOVED being transported back in time. I do love the flower arrangements, but the beauty for me was in your ability to articulate the feelings of aging. Thanks so much.

Gina said...

I care because it's so evident that you do… your blog is like a secret garden full of gritty truths and unvarnished intelligence. Thanks for that.

fleurgirls said...

Beautiful post all around. Photos and words. You are inspiring. Travel safe.

Angie M. said...

I love your writing. You take us away with you to that edge of the universe...thank you.

Ashley B. said...

That is the prettiest arrangement I've seen in a long time. I wish I could force myself to design more horizontal like that.

Anonymous said...

My favourite page for a year and a half now. Will be glad if you posted more stories and your work .i find you have something different from other florists .

William David said...

You are such an honest author,that Ranunculus flowers are my favorite one , and your way of post and pictures is like to read...

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sandie gobk said...

I encourage to publish more on this..and this is my one of Favorite blog.. Beautiful natural photos and a joy to read. Your flower arrangements are exquisite. :-) Thanks for sharing. bankruptcy san diego

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send flowers to philippines said...

Nice post! Hope to see more pictures of your farm, maybe with the blooming flowers? That would be more interesting.

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